I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Drunk is not a location!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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