what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize