I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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