you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
