the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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