Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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