you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize