i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
