At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
