Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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