I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
did i just pee glitter
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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