I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
