alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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