Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
