all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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