We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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