Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
