just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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