we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
