She said her name was "party"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
