If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
