it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
