Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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