No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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