no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
