i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
