I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
