lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize