so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
