what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
