I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
