operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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