Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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