The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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