Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The power of my boobs compel you
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
