How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
