Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
