Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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