Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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