Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
