VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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