i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
