these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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