I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
