Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize