Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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