Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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