I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
