I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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