Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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