Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
