why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize