My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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