I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
