That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
