He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
