get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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