you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
