Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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