party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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