so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
