i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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