i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
