Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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