Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
