fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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