ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
