i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Welp...herpes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
