Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can't turn off my feet"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
