Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What a dumb baby whore.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
