I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's never too late to be topless.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
