hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she peed on how many people?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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